I came home from the store, and Aaron met me at the front door whispering rather cryptically, "Would you please go help Cooper? He's upset."
Cooper has this way about him; sometimes when he's mad or upset, he won't talk at all, he just broods in a corner with a dark expression of discontent. He also has a knack of telling you only so much at a time. Getting information out of him is a little bit of an art form, so I didn't ask Aaron anything further. I just hurried into the kitchen where I found my son at the sink, wringing a giant sponge in a bucket and sniffling.
Cooper has this way about him; sometimes when he's mad or upset, he won't talk at all, he just broods in a corner with a dark expression of discontent. He also has a knack of telling you only so much at a time. Getting information out of him is a little bit of an art form, so I didn't ask Aaron anything further. I just hurried into the kitchen where I found my son at the sink, wringing a giant sponge in a bucket and sniffling.
"Cooper, what's wrong?" I asked.
He was so flustered and upset, he just kind of frowned and kept wringing.
I tried again: "Cooper! What's the bucket for? Is something wrong?"
He turned to me with the most worried expression and sputtered, "Mom, I was playing frisbee and I threw it and the wind took it."
He was so flustered and upset, he just kind of frowned and kept wringing.
I tried again: "Cooper! What's the bucket for? Is something wrong?"
He turned to me with the most worried expression and sputtered, "Mom, I was playing frisbee and I threw it and the wind took it."
Hmm. That seems to be no big deal, so I'm a little puzzled at the tears. I ask for clarification: "Did it hit something?"
"No." Sniffle.
"Did you lose it in the lake?"
"No." Sniffle.
"Well, where is it?"
"It landed on the neighbor's deck!" Big, worried eyes.
"Okay. Did you go and get it?"
"Yes." Sniffle. Sniffle.
"Did you lose it in the lake?"
"No." Sniffle.
"Well, where is it?"
"It landed on the neighbor's deck!" Big, worried eyes.
"Okay. Did you go and get it?"
"Yes." Sniffle. Sniffle.
"Then what's the problem?"
"I walked on to the deck to get it, and my shoes were muddy and I left big muddy footprints all over her deck!"
Oh.
"Did you wash it off?"
"Mom, I tried to wipe it with my hands, (presents filthy, muddy palms that match the smudges of mud that I am now noticing on both his shirt and pants) but it just smeared everywhere!" Deepening frown, and we are nearing tears. "Will you help me?"
Of course I will. We walked out to the back yard, and sure enough, four kind-of-smeary size 3 tennis shoe prints were clearly visible on the neighbor's wood deck. He slipped off his shoes (which didn't occur to him the first time, apparently) and scrubbed the deck clean. It only took a few minutes, but I could visibly see his worry lines ease and the tension leave his shoulders when it wiped off easily.
I don't know how many kids would worry about this kind of thing, but I'm kind of delighted that he worried enough to make it right. I'm pretty sure our neighbor wouldn't have thought twice about the footprints, but at least Cooper is pausing to consider his effect on his surroundings. I really wish he would transfer those same feelings of responsibility to keeping his room clean or remembering not to leave sticky plates on the living room floor, but hey - baby steps. I may be failing all over the place otherwise, but in the category of teaching them how to be a good neighbor, I have at least one mark in the win column.
"Did you wash it off?"
"Mom, I tried to wipe it with my hands, (presents filthy, muddy palms that match the smudges of mud that I am now noticing on both his shirt and pants) but it just smeared everywhere!" Deepening frown, and we are nearing tears. "Will you help me?"
Of course I will. We walked out to the back yard, and sure enough, four kind-of-smeary size 3 tennis shoe prints were clearly visible on the neighbor's wood deck. He slipped off his shoes (which didn't occur to him the first time, apparently) and scrubbed the deck clean. It only took a few minutes, but I could visibly see his worry lines ease and the tension leave his shoulders when it wiped off easily.
I don't know how many kids would worry about this kind of thing, but I'm kind of delighted that he worried enough to make it right. I'm pretty sure our neighbor wouldn't have thought twice about the footprints, but at least Cooper is pausing to consider his effect on his surroundings. I really wish he would transfer those same feelings of responsibility to keeping his room clean or remembering not to leave sticky plates on the living room floor, but hey - baby steps. I may be failing all over the place otherwise, but in the category of teaching them how to be a good neighbor, I have at least one mark in the win column.
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